I'm sorry, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue!

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One of my favourite comedies of all time is BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (ISIHAC). It is one of the most consistent programmes of any format, and it manages to elicit at least a couple of proper belly laughs from me every episode.

Some of the stuff they have 'gotten away with' over the years - particularly anything relating to the late 'mime-master general' himself, Lionel Blair, is incredible and testament to the fantastic writers the show has had. The loss of Iain Pattinson was a huge blow, as he was an outstanding writer and he will be sorely missed. 

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I thought it was high-time I shared some of my own, 'Clue-style' efforts, enjoy!

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Uxbridge English Dictionary definitions

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Abortion

Avoid Swedish Pop Group

 

Abundant

Damage to sweet roll

 

Accent

Hatchet smell

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Accident

Hatchet-like mark on car

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Accidentally

Counting up the number of hatchet-like marks on a car

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Accommodating

Courting a punctuation mark

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Accountability

Dracula-like talent

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Addicted

Mean bear

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Addiction

The act of avoiding Piers Morgan

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Adolescence

Popular singer fragrance

 

Affection

The act of avoiding Father Jack

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Bicycle

Purchase harvesting tool 

 

Brew

Sound made by cold ghost

 

Fundamentalist

Trump campaign contributor

 

Genie

Cords

 

Guffaw

Hugely impressed by flatulence

 

Gullibility

Seaside bird skill

 

Lavatory

Enamoured toward posh Cockney Conservative 

 

Politics

Nervous Parrot / Parrot fleas

 

Polyamorous

Parrot love

 

Polyfilla

Parrot taxidermist 

 

Polygamy

Contracted disease from parrot love

 

Polygon

The end of parrot love

 

Sentimental

Received Swiss Cheese through the post

 

Sierra

Southern Irish Tourist Company

And of course, I had to have a go at one of the show's staples! 🥰

Samantha has been spending time in the Gramophone library recently where she has taken to listening repeatedly to 80s classic, Agadoo. However, this appears to have enraged one of the kindly old Archivists as Samantha said that whenever she’s got nothing but Black Lace on, he’s ready to explode within seconds.

 

I have listened to loads of Samantha jokes to make sure that this isn't another writers' line that I have somehow buried deep in my subconscious and used as my own many years later. If it does transpire that there was something similar, then I will remove it within a gnat's crotchet!