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DMs Are Open - Series 2
Episode 1 - 'Crime' - Broadcast 19/05/23 (more info from the excellent BCG folks!)
Oneliners Submission (Prompt: They told me they were criminals, but I had my doubts after I heard them saying...)
They told me they were criminals, but I had my doubts after I heard them saying that last time they tried to break into a house, they were foiled by an 8-year-old’s booby traps.
Voicenote Submission
DMs Are Open - S2 E1 Submission
00:00 / 00:15
Episode 2 - 'Love' - Broadcast 26/05/23 (more info from the excellent BCG folks!)
Oneliners Submission (Prompt: My first love taught me...)
My first love taught me, which is why he’s no longer headmaster.
Voicenote Submission
DMs Are Open - S2 E2 Submission
00:00 / 00:08
Sketch Submission
Missing me?
Episode 3 - 'Stranded' - Broadcast 02/06/23 (more info from the excellent BCG folks!)
Oneliners Submission (Prompt: A message in a bottle that would make people not want to rescue you)
We’re keeping our spirits up by reading excerpts from Piers Morgan’s ‘Wake Up’, watching Andrew Tate’s TikToks and listening to Nickelback; but get here soon as we are down to the last 3 bottles of Farage White Gin
Episode 4 - 'Life and Death' - Broadcast 09/06/23 (more info from the excellent BCG folks!)
Oneliners Submission (Prompt: Something you'd find on a memorial bench plaque...)
Jonathan loved sitting on this bench to eat one of his exotic lunches. He’d enjoyed delicacies including hoisin duck pancakes, goose liver parfait and even pan-fried carp, before he wasn’t allowed within 50 metres of the pond.
Episode 5 - 'Putting The Work In' - Broadcast 16/06/23 (more info from the excellent BCG folks!)
Oneliners Submission (Prompt: They said I'd never be employee of the month after...)
They said I’d never be employee of the month after I secretly helped an acquaintance offer an £800,000 personal loan guarantee to the former Prime Minister.
They said I’d never be employee of the month after I told a scantily-clad woman she
was obviously in the wrong place when she came into my expensive clothes store. Big mistake, huge.
Episode 6 - 'History' - Broadcast 23/06/23 (more info from the excellent BCG folks!)
Oneliners Submission (Prompt: I failed my history exam because...)
I failed my history exam because the rhyme to remember the fates of Henry VIII’s wives that Danny Dyer taught me, was apparently unacceptable; Inspector Morsed, Unleaded, Girl Guide; Red Sauced, Wheat Shredded, Deep Dived.
I failed my history exam because when asked “what 1066 referred to” I said Crispy Seaweed and Roast Duck with Beansprouts
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